The Basics Before you decide to finally, finally, take the plunge and introduce yourself to that cute guy at the bar, it’s important to know a few things. If you’re starting from scratch, you should know the basics of modern dating: 1. Respect the time Rushing into a first date is a great way to make yourself look foolish, but there is a right and a wrong way to go about it. You may find someone who likes to get to know you, but that doesn’t mean you have to go on that date with them. For the love of God (or a less religious love), don’t set up a date that is right after your ex is over for the day, or you will have a hard time maintaining the date. When approaching someone who you want to go on a date with, take your sweet time to get to know them. People may quickly get frustrated by this, but trust me: the sooner you get to know someone, the better. 2. Know what you want You don’t have to understand The Rules of Attraction, but you do have to understand what kind of person you want to date. Your first instinct may be to meet that cute boy or girl you’ve met at a party or something, but you may find yourself wanting to date someone completely different. If you’re not sure who you’re looking for or what you want in a date, take a step back and think about what you’re looking for. Does he have a good head of hair, or do you prefer someone with a beard? Are you looking for a dog or a cat person? Is he into a particular band? These are all things that you can inquire about without coming off like a total pervert. 3. Do not ask a girl to buy you drinks This one is a little broad, but I just don’t feel like I can give this a broad enough exclusion. If you go on a date and then tell someone the bill is on you because you were cheap and didn’t want to pay for the date, that’s definitely not cool. This is one of the easiest things to do for you, but it’s one of the hardest things to do for the girl. It’s like paying for a guy to suck your dick—it’s going to go badly for you. Don’t be cheap like that. It’s just not a good look for you. 4. It’s a date If you want to be
Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images If you feel apprehensive about dating—or if you’ve already been on a few bad dates—read on to find advice about how to get your first date right, whether you’re meeting someone in a bar, through mutual friends, or through an online dating site like OkCupid. Dealing with Various Situations Whether you’re meeting your date for the first time or you’ve been on a few dates, you should always check in with your date and establish what is comfortable. If you haven’t met yet, this will allow you to watch out for red flags and communicate with your date if something is off. At the start of the date, be sure to communicate how you feel. Ask what’s going on in your date’s life and what they are looking for in a partner. This allows you to be in control and avoid wasting any time on a date. A few questions to ask include: If you haven’t met yet, this will allow you to watch out for red flags and communicate with your date if something is off. In the case of an online dating site, messages can help you avoid being taken advantage of. This can include offering to pay for dinner or drinks, or asking for permission if you want to take the conversation to a sexual level, too. Alternatively, if your date isn’t bringing up that discussion about themself, it may be a red flag. According to Ellen Kates, one of the hosts of Ask a Matchmaker on KSL radio, some of the most common red flags include: Dating behavior that indicates the person is only there for sex. A person who’s sad or unsure of themselves. A person who’s “trying to impress.” A person who is in a relationship. A person who has a history of being a bad dater. How to Take Out a Member of the Opposite Sex on a First Date While it’s understandable that you may not want your date to know your relationship status, it’s important that you avoid creating a position of power. Everyone has to watch their own value, and you will encounter more members of the opposite sex that are interested in casual sex. If you’re looking for that, work on being comfortable with yourself and don’t assume that people are looking for a long-term commitment when they meet you out in the wild. Start off by complimenting