Conversational Tips to Use in Your Next Dating Conversation Trying to keep your conversations casual and light-hearted—or with just the right amount of blasé attitude, so to speak—is important, because a conversation is the best kind of ice breaker. The worst kinds are ones you’ve had before. If you want to come across as relaxed and easygoing, ask questions. You don’t have to be a great conversationalist. Just be yourself. Dr. Miriam Nemet, a Washington University psychologist and dating expert, suggests starting with a question that’s a little more personal and that you’re quite interested in. “Something like, ‘What do you do for a living? How long have you been single? Have you ever been in a serious relationship before?’” Nemet says. For some, asking a cliche question like “What’s your favorite movie?” will get your conversation off to a great start. Nemet recommends first getting a little more personal and engaging. On the other hand, if you’re really stumped, or you feel nervous, don’t be afraid to start slow and get to know each other. “It’s all about how you feel,” she says. Talking just for the sake of talking is never a bad thing, either. And if you need some more convincing as to why it’s a good idea, Nemet offers this: “Your subconscious mind knows that talking helps you relax, so the conversation will help you relax.” Just keep in mind that while talking might seem like a lighthearted and easygoing thing to do when you’re with your friends, doing it when you’re starting a new relationship can sometimes seem, well, a little weird. Nemet says: “It’s totally normal for people to feel uncomfortable doing this.” How to talk on a first date There are many, many different ways to make conversation work for you—whether you’re on a first or second date. “There are other ways to connect,” says Nemet. “You can be more creative about it.” So don’t be afraid to start with fun topics, like “What are you most looking forward to this weekend?” or to share a favorite pop culture memory from the past. If you’re looking for a more, shall we say, romantic conversation, try talking about something you’re passionate about, Nemet says
We’ve polled experts, Redditors, and our own Dear Prudence columnists to gather the best tips for dating, as you won’t find them anywhere else. We’ve boiled them down to some of the most popular techniques for a successful modern date, so you can figure out what works for you. This article is also available in mobile app form, which you can download for free on the iTunes Store and Google Play. Master Your Modern Dating Techniques 1. Invite the Dating Ape How it works: Send the person a sexy or funny profile photo of yourself and describe yourself in 140 characters or less. At the end of it, tell them to meet you somewhere public and just be themselves. Ways to master: invite your date to a park at sunrise invite your date to a public space for an open-air performance of karaoke invite your date to work out with you at a local gym invite your date to the office invite your date to the movies or a museum invite your date to a hotel bar for drinks invite your date to an improvised house party with your friends invite your date to a dinner party invite your date to dinner at your apartment invite your date to a sporting event (preferably a team you support) invite your date to a comedy show or improv game night invite your date to a buffet 2. Read the Person How it works: It may sound a little like reverse psychology, but when a person is doing all the talking, it can be hard to read them. Invite your date to order drinks before dinner, and make sure to have a drink of your own. Then turn off your phone and read their profile and you’ll have something to go on when you finally speak. Ways to master: read the person’s profile and try to guess their interests read the person’s profile and try to guess their likes read the person’s profile and try to guess their age read the person’s profile and look for clues to their likes/interests/thoughts read the person’s profile and look for clues to their age 3. Impress the Crowd How it works: When your date first approaches you, tell them to dress up a little more than usual and, if you think they